On the back of reading a very interesting and slightly hitting post (read it here) written by my friend Martyn, it got me thinking about the posts topic 'its OK for men to talk too'.
Across the various media channels from time to time you see posts written about various forms of the writers feelings and levels of depression, but I've hardly ever seen these posts written by men. I'm not saying that there aren't any out there just that to me there very rare.
Surely the men of this world have times in their lives where they feel low and alone, feel like they have no one to talk to, they can't talk to friends, family members or even their own partners because they may see it as a sign of weakness or perhaps they feel others will 'take the piss' for talking about feelings or something like that.
I can honestly say I have been there, I wouldn't say I was depressed by any means I would just say it was a very low and lonely dark place I was in at the time.
We were going through a rocky patch in our marriage and I began to fall into a dark place so much so that at times I felt like I was wearing a mask.
Yes a mask, a happy smiling mask at that, one that showed my kids 'daddy was happy and OK' and one that answered my wifes questions of 'are you OK, you don't seem yourself' with yes dear all is OK, even though it wasn't.
Thankfully though with a few good friends and many hours of talking I came through my darkness, yes looking back now I possibly did possibly burden them with my problems and troubles too much some would say and to that I send them a massive thank you for pulling me through.
So back to post, yes it's important to talk, whoever you are male or female it's good to talk, Martyn'sas they say a problem shared is a problem halved.
I don't think it is ever too much too burden your friends and family if you need to talk you need to talk (I'm sure they feel the same) I think you and Martyn are right men do need to learn to talk, especially about feelings, I remember going through my depression and talking was hard.
ReplyDeletethanks for your comment, it is hard to talk but its equally awesome when people have time to listen and help you out.
DeleteI think it's great you and Martyn have taken this step. Hopefully others will follow in your footsteps. It can't have been easy but the first step is the hardest. A real friend wouldn't see it as a burden :)
ReplyDeletethank you it was hard to pluck up the courage to write this post and then to publish it especially as my wife didn't know how I felt, hopefully other men can follow suit and find the strength to write posts like this and talk about issues like this.
DeleteI always thought it was a cliche that men didn't talk about stuff like that...but it would appear not! I guess that is why so many men do end up committing suicide or falling into deep depressions. Talking is certainly the best thing to do and by addressing it on your blog hopefully it will make other men think about doing it! The Free From Fairy.
ReplyDeletethanks for your comment I really hope other men can find the strength to talk about their issues so they don't eat them up inside and lead to potential situations like deep depression or more terribly like suicide.
DeleteIt's so important to highlight that men can feel like this too. I think after we have children, everyone treads a bit carefully around the mummies because it's us that are more likely to suffer with the baby blues or even worse PND. Daddy has to be the strong one, there for wife and children while most of the time going out to work as well whilst absolutely knackered and potentially feeling like a bit of a spare piece. I think there are probably a lot of men who would resonate with you in this post and thank you for sharing it on #twinklytuesday
ReplyDeleteThank you for your kind words, yes I think there are many men out there who silently struggle with depression whether it be involving a new born in their life or not. I think talking helps a lot and should be encouraged more.
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