Friday, 6 December 2013

Becoming a daddy


I was recently given the opportunity by katie to guest post on two under two, so I thought I would take up this opportunity by writing about becoming a daddy for the first time.

My wife and I always knew we wanted kids, how many we are still unsure, but we always knew we wanted our own little family in our own home one day. 

My wife and I decided that we both wanted to complete our respective education paths and then think about getting married and having children.

A few years passed by, we worked hard and saved up to have a good memorable wedding and honeymoon. After having a few years of working hard and enjoying holidays abroad we decided it was time to start thinking about starting up a little family of our own.

We thought there was no better time to start trying for kids then on our honeymoon, so we did. We continued to try and try and continued to try for a child until one day my wife told me to pick up a pregnancy test on the way home from work.

At first I was full of mixed emotions, I was slightly happy, slightly scared, slightly nervous, slightly apprehensive to be fair I had all sorts whizzing round my head and we hadn't even took the test yet.

It was positive, so yet again my mind whizzed around like an out of control a balloon whooshing out of a child's hand. It was strange although we said we were ready for a child were we really ready for a child, only time would tell.

As the pregnancy progressed my wife became ill, she had to give up work earlier then planned so that put a different twist on the pregnancy. I now had the stress that work brought, the different daily stress that the pregnancy brought and the extra stress that my wife being ill brought.

My child's due date was about the 11th November, so we planned for the time off around that so work knew what I'd be taking as paternity leave. But as the pregnancy went on we had various scares and complications at one point the doctors thought it was turning an ectopic pregnancy, which obviously gave us added extra stress.

It came to the point that our final scan revealed that our ever growing baby seemed ok, so we thought it would be a good idea to take a vacation. As my parents live in Spain we thought it would be good for my wife to go and have some relaxation time in the sun. Although we were slightly apprehensive about being that far from home incase anything happened all was ok and we had a fab time in the summer sun.

As it got closer to the due date we brought the last few baby things we needed no I rephrase that we brought the shops worth of baby things we needed, as you do as first time expectant parents just incase you haven't got all things the little one(s) will need.

I keep saying our baby/child this is down to the fact that from day one neither of us wanted to find out the sex of any of our three children to be honest, a total surprise yes that's what we wanted a surprise whatever sex the little one was would be perfectly fine by us.

The due date was fast approaching, we we're in that two weeks before two weeks after window by now. So we knew that any day could be the big day. Work had adjusted my shifts just incase I had to rush off quickly, now we just waited.

The day we took my wife in to the hospital was a little strange for me, I was going about my daily jobs booking my parents room for their visit blissfully unaware my darling wife was continually having contractual labor pains.

It wasn't until late evening she decided to inform that she was having labor pains, once I foubd this out I was all a panic. I wanted to rush her straight to the hospital but my mother in law calmed me down and the situation and counted through the contraction pains before deciding it was advisable to go to the hospital.

As it was our first and my wife is very close to her mother she accompanied us to the hospital, by now it was about 11.50 pm, we arrived at the maternity ward at bout 12.30 am.
I was a bit up in the air to be honest as it was our first and I'll admit it being a man I really didn't know what to expect or how useful I was going to be or even if strangely I was going to be in the way.

Although a large number of people may question why my mother in law was with us whilst my wife was in labor, I for one was glad not only was she there for a chat whilst my wife sleep but she was also a big help in explaining things to us (well in particularly me) and generally being there for the both of us if and when we needed her.

My wife was continually seen to by a trainee mid wife. We said from the start this was ok because we were told a proper (shall i say) mid wife was going to regularly visit to check all was ok.

My wife fully followed all the trainees advice and tips regularly throughout the day, being constantly told "oh it wont be long now you, your baby will be with us soon" but this soon time never seemed to arrive.

The early morning rolled in to early afternoon then in to early evening and still no further progress, still being told "anytime now" that's all we seemed to hear after every check of the baby.

Gradually my wife's physical and mental status was deteriorating. We had been in the hospital now nearly somewhat 17 hours, we were all very tired and very much hoping and praying something would happen and it did.

The nursing staff changed over and our new mid wife, after hand over checked my wife and baby and all hell broke loose so it seemed.

By this point my wife had nothing left in her, her tank was empty so was her reserve tank. She had been pushing all late afternoon under the instructions of the trainee mid wife.
Little did we know there was a problem, the babies shoulders were in the wrong position hence not allowing baby to be delivered by my wife.

As I said all hell broke loose, we went from one mid wife to a full surgical team within minutes and my wife was being prepared to be rushed down to theatre as she could no longer give birth herself she need assistance.

They gave her a epidural and off they went. I was whisked off in toe too, my mind was a mess. Will my wife and baby be ok whilst sorting that my mother in law was sat in a room unaware how her daughter was at all.

I waited outside the theater room for what seemed like hours when intact it was more then likely minutes, I was taken inside all I could see was my wife laid out flat on her back legs in the air and doctors, surgeons and mid wife's around her.

I was seated by her head, facing her so I could talk to her and comfort her in anyway possible.

The surgeons did there work, pulling and prodding all the time I kept thinking my poor wife she isnt a rag doll she cant be pulling up and down this theater bed much more surely.

Then eventually after lots of pulling and pushing, my wife not feeling a thing of cause the baby was safely delivered. I got to hold my child, how proud was I that we had brought such a lovely little baby in to this world.

My wife was saddened by the fact that I got to hold our new born son first before her due to being in theater and all.

My son and I were taken away to another room to have various paper work filled in. I kept looking out of the window over looking the surrounding area, thinking it's bonfire night let off the fireworks for my new son, at the same time worrying like crazy if my darling wife was ok as she was still in theater.

We were all soon reunited in the maternity ward, by now it was half past seven and after, it had been a very very long somewhat plus nineteen hours of being in hospital, but and a massive but both mummy and baby were thankfully to report both ok.

Well that's my story of when I became a father for the first time, thank you for taking the to read it hope you enjoyed it.